Tiny birds scattered in the frigid air as I ducked under a partially fallen tree crossing the trail. I searched above for the bird making a racket, probably warning the little birds of the invasion that was me. The world looked gray. A tall, sturdy tree stood dark against the snow-dusted hill and was reflected in the ice-skimmed silver water.
The image was a bleak and desolate portrait of Winter. I considered taking a picture. I considered all the steps involved; removing glasses wedged behind ears under a hat, removing gloves, digging the phone out of an inner zippered pocket and exposing it to the cold, which depletes the battery rapidly. I laughed to myself; this process would expose me to the cold, depleting my battery rapidly, too.
I thought about Qi. Qi is energy. Energy is limited. Taking a picture in the Winter depletes a lot of Qi. What else uses Qi? A free association, a tumbling of words, disjointed but with a common thread followed:
Turning away from a passing train with scrunched shoulders, covering ears
Looking at birds, listening to birds, making up stories about birds
Focusing any of the senses
Movement
Stopping forward momentum to write a note lest the idea be forgotten
Worry, anger, hatred
Regret, longing, love
DRAMA
Fear, anticipation, dread
Reminiscing, planning, hoping
Guilt, forgiveness, acceptance
Praying, releasing, crying
Laughing, reading, talking
Thinking, writing
Breathing
Shivering to be among the trees
Living
What if we thought about Qi as time? Like time, we have a limited amount of Qi. How do we spend it each day? What do we choose at the exclusion of the infinite options? What have we given up to do what we are doing at this moment? The answer is nearly everything. Is it worth it? A resounding YES is the only acceptable answer.
Finally, how do we divvy up our Qi expenditures? What’s our unique recipe? We can tweak it, spice it up or add sweetness. We can remove the bitterness. The recipe is ours; it’s magical and ever-changing. The formula creates our mental, physical and spiritual well-being. No one can create it for us.
Choose carefully.